1. Men: Never move anything in the house that belongs to your wife.  That includes absolutely everything.
2. When someone asks your opinion on a controversial topic such as politics, religion or sex mutter something totally innocuous and ask, “What do you think?”
3. If a woman asks how do you like my dress always reply, “Absolutely beautiful.” Even if it makes her look like a sack of door knobs.
4. When the kids ask you for something you don’t want them to have say, “Not right now.”  If they persist and ask, “When?”, say, “Later” and send them to bed.
5. Women:  If you want someone who will listen attentively to everything you say and never disagree; get a dog.
6. If you come across two people at a party who are expounding loudly on a topic in which they are completely ignorant, turn and walk quickly away before you retch.
7. Men: Never ask your wife who is sitting quietly what she is thinking, because she is making a list of to-do’s for you.
8. Women:  If you find a man who is perceptive and anticipates your every need say, “Thank you God.” And wrap the guy in plastic as he is 1 in 10 million.
9. Men:  If you want a happy marriage whenever your wife asks, “Shall we do this or that?”, answer, “Whatever you want dear.”, because that is what you are going to do eventually anyway.
10. Men:  Whenever our wife asks, “Why don’t you get up and do something?”, say with a serious expression on your face, “I’m thinking.”  Never say about what.
11. Men: If your wife goes on a trip and your mother-in-law who thinks you are not worthy of her daughter brings over a casserole for dinner, hire a taster.
12. Men: if you find a woman who asks, “What can I cook for dinner for you honey?”…”Can we please have sex again tonight?”…and doesn’t chatter endlessly during the football game; wake up man.  You’re dreaming.

Free Add-on: Donuts are high in antioxidants.

Have a happy and wiser new year.

Dr. Jac

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